White Board Mafia

So we’ve reviewed a bunch of things on this site. Games, Movies, Music, Concerts. But never food. I think I have to post this as it is among the strongest negative responses I’ve ever had to a foodstuff…

OK, for most folks it goes without saying that something from Taco Bell would be absolutely disgusting. But I personally am a fan of the Bell of Tacos, having gotten stuff from them for lunch several times. Although I find some of their foodstuffs better than others, I have never been as disgusted by anything I’ve had from them as I am today.

They got these new “Cantina Tacos” which are supposed to be like their Chipotle/Moe’s/Panchero equivalent of like corner mexican joint legit tacos. Well, not only are they NOTHING like those other places, or legit Mexican joints, they are a disgusting, nauseating disaster.

I got a steak and carnitas one, as those are my favorite taco/burrito stuffing options. The steak itself was actually OK, it was pretty tasty along with the cilantro, lime and onions they add. However, the double tortilla thing they wrap it in is absolutely horrible. It doesn’t even taste like real food, it has the taste and texture of foam rubber. It’s all spongy and nasty, it should be insulating my house not cradling my taco filling.

That would’ve been bad enough but when I unwrapped my carnitas one, I did not recognize the substance inside the “taco” as any food I recognized. It looks like they put some kind of beast through a food processors and dumped it into a pot of brown Thanksgiving gravy. Then after boiling it for days, decided to take a spoonful of their meat glop and dump it onto the sponge tortilla. Also, I don’t know if they forgot the cilantro and onions by accident, but it didn’t come with any and it would have improved the gravyness.

I sit here an hour after the meal, and my insides are going nuts. This isn’t unusual for Taco Bell, but it is at this particular level of internal rage. Much like the Wayne’s World 2 red rope licorice, stay away from the Cantina Tacos, lest you want your tastebuds offended and your intestines raped.

I will gladly be going back for the Chicken Club Chalupa, however.

I’ve always been a huge fan of tattoos, but I didn’t get my first in 2004. I was instantly bitten by the tattoo bug and couldn’t wait to get my next one. I was working at GameStop at the time and a promotional copy of Grabbed By The Ghoulies arrived in my store. My boss said I could have it since he wasn’t interested in it. I gave it a shot since Rare has an awesome track record and low and behold, I had an awesome new game to play for free. Granted, this game is still a running joke years later, even in Rare’s own games, but I genuinely enjoyed it. Once I saw the Ninja Imp, I knew he’d be inked on me.

Recently, I started playing the game again and was reminded of my idea. I took a very long shot in the dark and sent an email to Rare through their “contact us” link on the their homepage. I stated my intentions and mentioned how hard it is to find a clear picture of the little bugger and asked for a shot of him. On the worst morning I’ve had in a very long time, I received a response. Along with that response, was an attachment. Leigh at Rare sent my request to his artists and, in a nostalgic mood, sent over a high res shot of the Ninja Imp. Shortly after, I was freshly inked with my first video game tattoo and my overall mood greatly improved. I sent them over the shots and have yet to hear back. I imagine it’s because they’re still laughing at the fact that someone got a tattoo of GBTG. He’s not completely healed yet, but he’s 95% of the way there and still looks just like the day I got him done.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve actually bothered to blog about anything. I went and tried starting my own blog, but I ended up losing the purpose for my blog due to a lack of money. However, the writing bug does bite every now and then and thus I’d like to announce my official return to Whiteboardmafia.com. Reviews, complaints, rants, stream of consciousness writing, these will be all the things I write about here. Enjoy, mofos!

I’ve had a story in my head for a few years and for some reason, finally decided to try my hand at writing it out. I have no formal writing experience, so I’m just shooting from the hip. You can find chapter one here and I’ll be adding a way to jump between chapters once I have the second part of the story edited. Feel free to forward any comments over to CG@whiteboardmafia.com.

This past few days have been so incredible, it’s hard to accurately put everything into words. It started on the night before St. Patrick’s day when people started showing up from out of state. Ryno and Ruben arrived at the Philly airport, and I immediately took Ryno to a Super Wawa, and he was like a child in a candy store. Wawa Iced Tea and Tastykakes for days. We went back to JimmyC’s house and made party. A little bit later, we ended up going back in to Philly so Ryno could get a cheesesteak from Pat’s.
The next day, I shot down to AC with Jersey Steph and Jezus316 for the House of Pain/La Coka Nostra show. We got to the venue and met up with Crimson and his lady, and eventually the 516 Squad showed up with JimmyC and Ryno. HoP/LCN put it down and had an amazing show. We gambled for a little bit and then went home because I had to work the next morning.

On Friday, AFChris came in from Toledo and Krazee came in Boston, and I picked them up and took em to Pat’s for they could experience the majesty that is the Philly cheesesteak. Chris could barely believe the joy occurring in his mouth, and I slaughtered a wiz with and cheese fries. We headed back towards Jersey and Chris says about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, “Holy shit, is that Camden? Dude, I want to go there.” I take a slight detour and roll through a few streets in Camden to appease Chris, and drop everyone off at their hotel and head home. Shortly after, Crimson and his girl show up to my house to stay the weekend. We hung out and talked for a while and passed out about 4am.

We woke up the next day and headed out to pick up STLRyan from the airport at about 12:30. We got caught in traffic due to roadwork, but we had to stop next to exit 17, so it was all good. We picked up Ryan and headed over to the Electric Factory for ICP’s Oddball Bonanza. It was an absolutely gorgeous day to be outside. Munky had a spot in line for us, and we hung out until doors. The doors opened at about 4:30ish, half an hour earlier than expected, and we got in with the quickness. I grabbed 2 Oddball shirts, one to wear and one to throw in the bin, and headed to the wrestling ring. Right before the matches started, Jersey Steph showed up with Jezus and Carrie, so I headed to the door to give her a ticket to get in, and headed back to the ring, where Nate was holding it down for me. 2 Tuff Tony had a dope match with Trent Acid full of blood, barbed wire, and dick for dinner. Tony poured a hefty amount of Bacardi Limon down my thirsty gullet and told me how happy he was to be back in Philly. After that match my back started bothering me so I headed upstairs, and my homie Mike took my spot on the barricade.

Mike E Clark’s DJ set was incredible. He hit Bugz on my Nutz and the people that knew it went nutty. I REALLY hope with the upcoming release of ICP: The Old Shit that Juggalos will know more of the older ICP stuff and they’ll do it live. He also played a remix of Skitzofrantic and another of Golden Goldies. I marked pretty hard for GG. Not a lot of Juggalos even know about the Golden Goldies anymore but they were the OG Rydas and did a set at the Riddlebox Release Party in 1995. They’re even thanked in the Riddlebox booklet. Anyway, I really didn’t eat all day so I went to go downstairs to get some food, and ran into 2 Tuff Tony before I hit the stairs. He gave me a giant bear hug and told me to take him over to the rest of his Philly friends. I brought him over to where we were hanging out and many good times were had. We talked about his match and the upcoming tour and let me tell you, I am very hype for this tour. It’s going to be good times. I already have at least 2 dates planned, and we’re going to TRY to pull off both dates up in Woopsta but traffic will likely make us miss all of the show except ICP, and that’s if we’re lucky.

After that, we watched the Nigerian Nightmares roll over the Thomasellis. Literally. Gross. The next match was the 7 foot lady vs jobbers 1, 2, and 4. My memory is a little fuzzy but I believe up next was when Big Blaze ran out and did a surprise set, ending with Escape Artist. Color us excited. He sounded awesome and even with the maggots and al, he looks GREAT! Then Pondo came out and cut an awesome promo about how Nightline showed him how the Insane Clown Posse really influences people. Let me tell you, Pondo is one of the greatest heels in wrestling. Corp came out and laid the smack down with some light tubes and got the d over Pondo. Up next, the wicked clowns.

ICP took the stage and I headed down to the floor and made my way to the front. The easiest way for me to do this is see STL standing tall above the crowd and just head for him. I eventually battle my way through one of the roughest crowds I’ve had to deal with in a long time, and make it to the barricade. Already waiting for me are AJ, Spinz, Ruben, Ryan, and StephTL. Shortly after, AFChris arrives with ShaggyAndrew, and Rob Dancer appears behind them. He probably ripped someone off for their spot. Basically, ICP put it down. Incredible setlist. Southwest Strangla, What Is A Juggalo, and more. I may have even liked the set more than the Bang Pow Boom set. After the show, everyone met back up in the parking lot for a giant Goon Squad picture. We dropped off AF at his hotel and we headed back to my place to shower. Once I’d washed off the Faygo Rain, Crimson and his lady and I headed back over to JimmyC’s. We crammed ourselves in and hung out for the rest of the night. Sadly, there wasn’t enough space for everyone there. We headed home and got back to my place around 5am. We would have left earlier but Jelly and Andy D had us crying.

I woke up Sunday and saw off Crimson and lady. I was sad to see them go, but we’ll be meeting up again. I headed out and picked up AF and Ruben, and drove them all around Philly, including the infamous South St. We got some pizza from Lorenzo’s and walked up and down South. We caught some other sights in Philly and headed back to JimmyC’s, where beer pong and flipcup were already in session. Flip, flip, flipadelphia. I hung out for a while, and then headed over to the Quality Inn where my man Krazee was holding it down in D Block. I hung out with him and his girl for a while and we discussed plans for the Happy Daze tour in Woopsta. I headed home around 1ish, and ended an absolutely incredible week. There were so many details I can’t even fit in here, but this weekend had something for everyone and I didn’t have any drama, so that’s always a win. Up next, the Happy Daze tour featuring Necro, Kittie, Coolio, Kottonmouth Kings, and the one and only Insane Clown Posse. A little tidbit of info, there is a reason some of the shows are outside, you can’t fit a wrestling ring in some of the normal venues they play! Boomaga and I will be at PAX East this weekend in Boston so come on out and say hi! I’m mainly looking forward to boozing it up and hopefully getting to talk to the Red vs Blue guys again, I haven’t talked to them in person since 04, and I’m going to bring up my Drunk Gamers mug to be signed. I’m not even really a mark and I really don’t even like getting autographs, but I think this might be something cool to have since Geoff sent it to me a few years ago. Anyways, look us up out there, I’m sure I’ll be hanging out in Pictochat throughout the weekend and updating my twitter @counterfeitgod.

They’re not done yet, but the new forums can be located at http://www.whiteboardmafia.com/board

So the time has come for me to head on out to Ye Olde Gathering of the Juggalos.  This year looks to be the biggest and best one they’ve done yet, so if you’ve got a shot at going, take it.  I’ll be back with many details and many pictures on 8/10, and I’m sure some shots will have naked girls too, beauty is questionable.

I’ve made it available for advertising to be purchased on the site.  PURELY text at this point, and it can be purchased through www.linkxl.com so, check it out.  If you want a banner ad, send me an email at counterfeitgod@whiteboardmafia.com and we’ll work something out.

On Saturday, Jezus316 and myself went to see Hank III. It’s probably the most diverse show I’ve ever seen outside of GOTJ, and we snagged some pictures after the show. I had an incredible time and recommend you check out the show. Tour dates at the bottom.

Jul 1 2009 8:00P
National Richmond, Virginia
Jul 3 2009 8:00P
Lincoln Theater Raleigh, North Carolina
Jul 4 2009 8:00P
Amos Charlotte, North Carolina
Jul 5 2009 8:00P
Shoreline Hilton Head, South Carolina
Jul 7 2009 8:00P
Music Farm Charleston, South Carolina
Jul 8 2009 8:00P
Masquerade Atlanta, Georgia
Jul 10 2009 8:00P
Culture Room Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Jul 11 2009 8:00P
club at Firestone Orlando, Florida
Jul 12 2009 8:00P
Freebird Jacksonville, Florida
Jul 14 2009 8:00P
The Orange Peel Ashville, North Carolina
Jul 15 2009 8:00P
Valarium Knoxville, Tennessee
Aug 21 2009 8:00P
Pukkelpop Festival Hasselt
Aug 22 2009 8:00P
Lowlands Festival Biddinghauzen
Aug 23 2009 8:00P
underground cologne
Aug 25 2009 8:00P
vega jr. copenhagen
Aug 26 2009 8:00P
grunspan hamburg
Aug 28 2009 8:00P
wacken seaside aurich
Aug 29 2009 8:00P
wacken south nuremberg
Aug 30 2009 8:00P
double DD fest dresden
Sep 1 2009 8:00P
roadrunners berlin
Sep 2 2009 8:00P
Szene Wein veinna
Sep 4 2009 8:00P
schuur lucerne
Sep 5 2009 8:00P
Bluesrock festival tegelen
Sep 6 2009 8:00P
TBA/Confirmed Paris
Sep 8 2009 8:00P
Wulfrun Wolverhampton
Sep 10 2009 8:00P
Garage Glasgow, Scotland
Sep 11 2009 8:00P
Club Academy Manchester
Sep 12 2009 8:00P
london london

So E3 2009 has come and gone. For those of you not familiar with the nomenclature, E3 is the Electronic Entertainment Expo, basically the biggest video game show of the year. It’s like 2nd Christmas for over-enthusiastic gamer, the one who can’t wait to hear the news, watch the latest previous and see all the rumors relating to video games. Basically it shows me everything I’m going to be too impatient for to wait until Christmas to get and what I’ll be buying onwards in 2010. Now, for the last couple years, E3 has been tuned down, almost more like a businessmen meeting where they let a couple media observers in to take notes. This year, it was just about back to it’s earlier incarnation, which has been a full-blown convention where the top game companies show off their biggest guns to an overwhelmed media and a voracious public.

I thought the big three, Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony, all had fairly impressive showings, but I thought I would break it down into my thoughts on each company’s press conference followed by my top 10 most anticipated games coming out of the conference. Here we go…

1. Microsoft – Ever since Microsoft stepped onto the scene they’ve looked to make an impact at E3. Whether it was Peter Moore’s Halo 2 tattoo or Peter Moore’s “Zen of Gaming” or… Peter Moore… well, you get the idea. Peter Moore used to be Microsoft’s hot shit at E3, but then he left the company to go sell more copies of Madden and while Microsoft hasn’t had quite the same personality about their press conference, but one things they did have were great, exciting, solid games to show off and demo each year, and that didn’t change this year. While I may not be big on Modern Combat 2, it can’t be denied that it’s a beautiful, intense looking game that will sell a few million copies. I thought the Rock Band Beatles presentation was WAAAAY too long and overdone, and the fact that they brought out Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney was both cool and crazy. Especially considering how uncomfortable the former Beatles looked selling their own game. Some other sweet previews were shown off, like Crackdown 2, Left 4 Dead 2 and the unexpectedly awesome-looking Alan Wake.  Microsoft also gave some great details on improvements to overall Xbox functionality, like new streaming and downloadable content improvements, social networking additions and other non-game related enhancements putting Xbox 360 way ahead of PS3 and Wii for an overall entertainment package. Then, they pulled out their “Wii knockoff”, Project Natal. Now, I think Natal looks like a sweet idea, being able to move your entire body and have the game recognize your movements, voice and face, but I don’t see it being the Wii-killing runaway blockbuster that Microsoft is hoping for. Natal is without a doubt ahead of the Wii when it comes to motion-capturing technology, but I don’t think the as-of-yet unnanounced price tag ON TOP of the cost of an Xbox 360 will do it any favors. Also, consider the already built fanbase that Wii already has, I don’t think those middle-age moms would be willing to shell out the money for ANOTHER motion-capturing video game system when they or their kids already have one. Sorry Natal, brilliant idea and I hope it works as good as it looks, but when you were conceived, you were already too late to the party.

Nintendo – Last year, Nintendo’s Press Conference was fucking abhorrent. You can pretty much see my thoughts on it and their overall business practices last year on a former post on this website: http://www.whiteboardmafia.com/?p=36. However, I feel Nintendo has heard the disgruntled moans of their historically loyal audience and sprung forth at this year’s E3 with nothing particularly revolutionary, but plenty to keep us happy. Forget Wii Fit, Wii Music and whatever other mommy-friendly programs Nintendo’s press conference vomited out last year, this year’s presentation was strictly for the hardcore… almost. There were a few “WTF?” moments with the Wii Vitality Sensor and Women’s Murder Club for DS, but for the most part, Nintendo brought their A-Game… for the most part. FOUR Mario Titles were announced, which sounds like they’re stretching the little guy a bit too far, but I disagree when they all look like they range from good to great. On the good side is a build-your-own-level gimmick game based on Mario vs. Donkey Kong for DS, and a hilarious brand new Mario & Luigi RPG for DS. Also shown ere two fantastic looking Mario Wii games, the sequel to the Wii’s best game, Super Mario Galaxy 2 and the new ultra-fun 4-Player Super Mario Bros Wii. I will reserve both of them today, because I guarantee greatness. They pulled out some surprising and impressive smaller hardcore offerings like Golden Sun DS, Final Fantasy Crystal Bearers and a couple new Resident Evils, showing they learned their lesson from the casual, cuddley showing last year. Finally, their grand finale totally rocked every Nintendo Fanboy I know, and that was the first-ever unveiling of Metroid: Other M. This brand new Metroid game from the makers of the brutally difficult new Ninja Gaiden games is exactly what Nintendo needed to get back the trust of their long-time fans. It looks like a brand new experience using a familiar franchise and something to win back the integrity that it seemed Nintendo has been losing over the last few years.

Sony – In a word, boring and uninspiring. If there’s anything that’s a threat to Sony’s success it’s their own vanilla presentation and lack of identity. Microsoft goes out of their way to prove that Xbox 360 is THE hardcore gamer’s platform and Nintendo does the same to show it’s THE casual gamer’s system… so where does that leave Sony? Basically, nowhere, and that’s where they’ll stay if they continue to give these bland presentations. They showed off the PSP Go, a new UMD-less handheld system that really doesn’t look like it has a reason for existing and a collection of new, totally expected games. New Metal Gears that were already rumored, new Gran Turismos that we already knew were coming, and a God of War III preview, those were the highlights of a presentation that was stretched over two hours. Throw in tons of graphs and old Japanese men talking to prove that they have their place in Microsoft’s and Nintendo’s world. Sony looks exactly like what they are, the former kings of the industry who don’t know how to handle not being on top. Their motion-control device looked less impressive than Microsoft’s Natal and more convoluted than the simple-enough Wii. Sony needs a lot more than the same-old games and boring charts to take Microsoft or Nintendo’s lead.

If I had to rank them, I’d say Microsoft was overall on top for appealing to the gaming community. Nintendo would be in 2nd for some unexpected surprises and redemption. Sony falls into 3rd place by toting their own self-righteous company line against increasingly popular opponents. Now, here is what I’m looking forward too most down the line coming out of E3…

1. Metroid: Other M: Are you kidding me? A brand new Metroid game from the makers of the cool, new Ninja Gaiden games? I don’t care when it comes out, I’ll put my $5 down on it at Gamestop tomorrow!

2. Brutal Legend – FUCKING METAL. Done.

3. New Super Mario Bros Wii – A brand new old school 4-player Mario game. I can’t wait to start jumping on turtles again and throwing my friends into pits.

4. Bioshock 2 – I don’t care about the multiplayer, but any new trip to Rapture will get me excited.

5. Alan Wake – A new type of horror game, and in the wake of no new Resident Evil on the horizon, this looks like the best we’re going to get. Great visuals, neat concept, I only hope the actual game turns out as good as it looks.

6. God of War III – God of War on PS3, it can’t get much better than that.

7. Super Mario Galaxy 2 – The sequel to the best game on Wii, ’nuff said.

8. Left 4 Dead 2 – This would be higher on the list if were done with the first one. I think Valve jumped the gun on this one way too early.

9. Final Fantasy XIII – As much as this franchise TRIES to put me off, it keeps drawing me back. Crappy spinoffs, Final Fantasy X-2, XI and XII and a stream of generally mediocre titles can’t keep FF13 from looking amazing and possibly drawing me back into a series that has spurned me many times.

10. Assassin’s Creed 2 – The first game wasn’t my favorite 360 game, but I thought it was one of the most creative and beautiful games of this generation, even if it was a little monotonous. I have faith that Ubisoft has learned from their mistakes and will give us a little more variety in their assassinations.

So there is plenty to look forward to in our video gaming future. From Prototype coming out in a couple games to whenever the hell the next Zelda game comes out, This years E3 I would say was a rousing success in generating the excitement in the gaming community that’s been missing over the past few years.